Until last year, I was terrified of butterflies.
And when I say that, I don’t mean that I just didn’t like them. I mean that I nearly had a legitimate phobia of butterflies. But deep down, I always thought that their wings were so stunning and intricate—like the Lord chose them as His own little canvases and just went crazy with the paint. So, last summer, I knew that it was time to let the fear go and hold a butterfly. To actually let it crawl on my hand, sit there, and flit its wings. Yet, when one of those little orange things actually put its foot on my fingertip, I almost flipped out. I let the fear of this tiny creature hold me back from the fact that I was about to hold it and not panic for the first time in 20 years.
We can be like that with God’s plans, too. As in, when we start growing spiritually, we feel Him changing our lives through our circumstances and through us, and we know that He is closing an old chapter to guide us into a new one. Yet still, we’re absolutely terrified because it constitutes a change. Let’s open up to Numbers and Acts to see what the Word says about that.
In Numbers, we’re seeing the Israelites as they continue the Exodus out of Egypt. As you may know, there came a point where they were disobedient and complaintive, however, there was also a point where they were reluctant to continue the journey. In Numbers 10:29-32 (NIV), we see an exchange with Moses and his brother-in-law, Hobab, where Moses is telling Hobab to come with them as they leave Mount Sinai (where they’d been for over a year). Verse 30 tells us that “‘He answered, “No, I will not go; I am going back to my own land and my own people.'” Fortunately, after some convincing from Moses, Hobab does end up going with the rest of the Israelites to the Promised Land.
However, he nearly let this resistance to change convince him to stay back. In the same way, our fear of change can cause us to stay back. Yes, it can be uncomfortable—change usually doesn’t occur on a lazy river—but it is worth it. The places that the Lord is taking us are worth it. But, the most important part about that discomfort is that it has us stepping out in faith that whatever change comes, whichever way the river flows, God will be there to guide us through it. Numbers 10:34 says “The cloud of the Lord was over them by day when they set out from the camp.” The Lord is with us as we take that sharp turn on the riverbend. And He’s with us when that butterfly flaps its wings a little too fast.
In Numbers, we saw God change the Israelites’ circumstances, but in Acts, we see Him change Paul, and rapidly at that. In Acts 9, Saul is threatening to murder Christians and trying to find a way to take them as prisoners. In the same chapter, after spending a few days in Damascus with the disciples, he is preaching the Gospel. Paul underwent a radical change that transformed him into a man who wrote at least 13 books of the New Testament, led thousands to Jesus, and even ended up being martyred for His Name.
Paul’s story tells us that when God makes a change within us, He could very well be using it for something wonderful. For one, He’s making us look more like Him, and two, He’s about to use us for His Kingdom in a brand new way that we never saw coming. That change within ourselves may come with some turbulence—it’s easy to go back to an old version of ourselves that we know rather than a new version that we don’t—but in the same way that a caterpillar can’t stay a caterpillar, we can’t stay the same person that we were in a past season. When we feel God ending one season in our lives, we’ve got to cocoon ourselves with His Word, His promises, and His love, knowing that the butterfly—the woman—that He changes us into will be equipped to fulfill the purpose that He has for us in a new season.
So, I thought I should let you know that I’m not afraid of butterflies anymore. It took me a long time to get relatively comfortable with them, and I still have moments where I’m uneasy. But they truly are God’s little canvases. And they are beautiful up close.
MEET THE AUTHOR:
Katie Pennington is a writer and editor who is originally from Hazard, Kentucky, but currently resides with her family in central Tennessee (though she frequently visits her Appalachian roots). Her favorite Bible verse is Psalm 42:5, which reminds her that in despair, there’s hope in God, and there’s healing in praising Him.